When I was in college, the dining hall was the place to hang out. On one particular morning, I was heading in for a quick bite to eat before class when I was stopped by an argument taking place in the doorway. A young man was holding open the door for a female student, who was yelling at him. I thought he had done something wrong, and clearly, the woman believed he was guilty of something. But I quickly realized that all he’d done was hold open the door for her.

It’s confusing being a man in today’s world. Some say being a gentleman demeans women. Men can’t be strong without suggesting that women are weak. Men either need to be emotionless or express their feelings just like women. All of those messages leave our boys wondering what a good man looks and acts like. So it’s up to us to guide them. Here are 5 life lessons to teach your son about how to be a good man.