Several years ago, I was having dinner with a friend who recounted the tale of a wedding ceremony he had attended. The couple had written their own vows, which included the line “for as long as our love shall last.” My friend was shocked—sure, about 50 percent of marriages end in divorce, but most marriages don’t begin with that end in mind. And yet here we are.

If we want healthy and happy marriages, we can’t approach the altar with such a negative attitude. We need to hold onto and cultivate good mindsets that will allow our marriages to flourish. Here are 5 good attitudes in marriage that will lead to growth, appreciation, and long-lasting love.